Losing a Friend and Finding Peace in the Midst of Grief

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose a friend. I learned this on January 9th, 2024, when a friend of mine was called home to be with Jesus after being involved in a tragic car accident. It has now been over a month since my friend has been home with The Father. This was a major loss for my community. He was a friend to many, someone that people looked up to. In the short time I knew him, he was always so on fire for God. I never got to meet him in person, but never have I come in contact with someone so on fire for the Lord. He was one of a kind and losing him hurt like no other.

It’s safe to say that I have learned a lot in this last month and a half. I’ve learned how my brain works during grief. I’ve learned that everyone grieves differently. Losing my friend was a wakeup call to cherish the life God has given me. It was a reminder that tomorrow is not promised and to live life every day to the fullest. Furthermore, the most important thing I believe that God is teaching me through all this is to trust in His plan and lean on Him through everything. That trusting Him comes with peace that surpasses all understanding.

Now, I want to dive deeper into that on this post. If you’re a believer, I’m sure you hear quite frequently to trust His plan and to lean on to him all of the time. However, if we’re being honest, it is a lot easier said than done. Doing those two things are going to take a lot of time, prayer, and diving deeper into His word to learn more about Him.

Leaning onto God through times of heartache and pain can be extremely difficult. A lot of the time, experiencing suffering like losing a loved one can make you question some things. You may be questioning why God allows these things to happen. Why does He allow us to endure suffering like this? While I may not have all of the answers, I do know this. That all of this is for His glory. That something beautiful will come out of the darkness you are in right now. Romans 8:18 says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” While God never promised that we wouldn’t endure suffering, He did promise this. That when we put our faith in Him, He promises that we will never endure suffering alone. He is near the brokenhearted.

All of this to say, if you’re in the process of grieving right now, however that may look for you, I just want you to know this. Your feelings are valid. It is okay to grieve and there is never a timetable on how long you should grieve for. I wasn’t the closest with my friend who is now home with Jesus. I didn’t “have the relationship that everyone else had with him”. But he did have an impact on me. God connected us through his clothing brand, Shema worldwide. I believe that God has connected me as well as my family to him even more so after his accident. As in maybe there is something we are supposed to learn from all of this. I believe that overtime, we will eventually figure out what God is trying to teach us through this. All that to say is that nobody’s grief will look the same. You don’t have to have had a certain type of closeness with the person who died. Anyone dying is absolutely heartbreaking, and please never let anyone tell you that you cannot grieve.

To anyone reading this, I pray that you lean onto God through whatever you’re going through. I pray you know that Jesus loves you so much. If you’re already leaning onto Him, please continue to do so. I promise you it is a decision you’ll never regret.

 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7.